Tomorrow we go in for our second meeting with the Urologist. Feeling a little weepy just thinking about it. What will they say? Will they find something and can it be fixed? So many questions.
I found this and identified with it strongly so I thought I’d share. Hopefully it can help someone else who is in the middle if things.
The Emotional Phases of Infertility:
During this time of dissociation, the thought is that it cannot be true, and actual physical signs such as
loss of appetite, difficulty concentrating, and problems with memory can occur.
This phase is accompanied by feelings that they are alone in infertility. It is particularly painful to see
babies, so the couple will avoid social situations where children are present. Also, feelings of jealousy
and anger are common during this phase. Anger is directed at both the self and others.
3. Disorganization and despair
This is the longest phase, lasting a minimum of 6 months. Anger and guilt from the prior phase
continue and outbursts of rage will increase. There is concern about being out of control and the fear
of being alone as their social activities continue to be limited in order to avoid the sight of babies and
pregnant women. The social support network for the couple may also be less available due to the
discomfort of being with such angry, tense, and unhappy people. As with previous phases, tears are
unpredictable and can be embarrassing. This phase may be accompanied by feelings of hopelessness
and helplessness most often associated with depression.
This phase is hallmarked by acceptance and reordering of one’s life. It can take the couple 2-5 years
to reach such a state of equilibrium.
More on this soon.