Anniversary Thoughts

photo taken by patricia espidal:

       my husband and i have our 5 year anniversary coming up and it feels like a big milestone for me. we have both grown up a lot as individuals since we got married in 2006. a lot has changed and a lot has not. i am not as lost and unsure of myself as i used to be, and i feel like our love has its own life. its own heart and it beats separate from our bodies in between us bonding us together no matter where we are. like a tree with roots connected to another tree. alive both separately and together. the more time and work you give them the deeper the roots, the more you want to bear fruit and make little lives happen in your shade. our roots are deep, our love is strong, but there is a funny thing about feeling love so intensely, there is an awkward thing about growing.. that pubescent in-balance that makes your ability to show how you feel seem uneven and clumsy. feelings are weird that way. i think it was Maya Angelou who said that words are things, and they should be treated with respect. well, i think feelings are much the same. they have their own life. and expressing, respecting, understanding them, heck even feeling them can be hard sometimes. i find myself pushing down deeper and deeper roots of love for this man everyday. and that makes the ache to share that love seem more and more important everyday. its time to make a plan to have kids. for real this time.


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